There are good afternoons.
Whenever I am stressed or feel like going out of the office, I proceed to the third floor bridge. It is a bridge that connects two buildings, but unlike usual bridges, this has a sprawling garden. It can be inextricably humid during summer, but really breezy in the afternoons. Spending time all by yourself in a garden overlooking the city is rewarding.
While I was reading in my favorite nook, a freshman student sat beside me. I looked at him and smiled, then went back to my reading. Every now and then, I pause to reflect more on what I have just read, hoping that inspiration will clarify my thoughts for my dissertation project. I glanced at the guy and observed how he was busy tinkering with his mobile phone. I went back to my reading and paused once more.
On one of the long pauses, I felt a tap on my shoulder. The student asked, with a puzzled look on his face.
“Are you a professor or a student here in the university?”
“I am a PhD student here. How about you?”
“I am a freshman student. May I ask a question?”
“Sure, go ahead.”
“I am starting new this semester and I am really scared because everything is new to me. I do not know whether I should stay in this university or not. Do you have any advice on how I can cope with this new environment?”
I was slightly taken aback with the question, and I immediately put down my reading.
I asked for the basics: his course of study (Japanese Studies), his country of origin (Hong Kong), and the number of classes he is taking this semester (total of 8).
I was studying the boy’s body language. He seems genuinely terrified about the prospect of going to college at HK’s premier university. I tried to calm his nerves. I smiled and maintained eye contact to show that I am genuinely interested to help him.
But I cannot explain deep philosophy to him as it might befuddle him even more. Instead, I had to use an analogy: swimming. We talked about how college is like that big swimming pool and you do not know how to swim, but everyone expects that you know how to swim. But in order to learn how to swim, you have to test the water first with one foot: check the temperature, the depth, and the overall sensation. If it can be done, then proceed to do baby steps in the pool.
I also explained that people may also expect to keep on studying 24/7, especially on their first year. I explained to him that while college is about studying, it can also be fun at the same time. I encouraged him to do music, arts, sports, and other hobbies that make him alive.
But more importantly, I advised him to spend at least 30 minutes to one hour to have time to oneself. A chance to recollect to clear one’s mind, ponder upon one’s goals, and look forward to better and brighter things. I shared how reflection and meditation helped me every day improve my thoughts and ideas, and in the process, I am able to listen to my own voice loudly and clearly.
And in a way, my own advice was also something that I needed. Moments that I can call my own despite my very busy schedule. To be honest, I was also fearful about the level of expectations my supervisors had for me. I had so many doubts within me whether this degree was indeed right for me. In the evenings, I find myself asking whether this path that I took was the best choice for me.
Thanks to the student, I was able to remind myself how fortunate we were in our positions. Not everyone can be in our shoes, and though we are on different levels, we were on the same boat: trying to navigate what would happen to us in four years time.
Before we parted ways, I wished him the very best as he goes on his journey. Who knows, perhaps after four years, we may find ourselves in the same nook in the garden on the bridge, sharing how we have grown from wading into the pool to swimming the entire stretch.
